Darn

Well church was good i guess. i love helpin out with the little kids in jr. church and all but danny was there. yeah i know, talking about my boyfriend all the time is boring but its the biggest thing on my mind. im sooo mad at him. im sooo mad at myself. so i was avoiding him and i wasnt trying to be awkward but i didnt wanna lead him on then dump him! so i said nothin to him. at all. didnt look at him. at all. so i started a convo with his twin brother (they dont look anything alike) and i was talking and then i felt danny eyes on me. (i know it a figure of speech but it was true!) i was afraid he'd think i liked his brother or something so i stopped talking all together. so danny kept sitting by me, standing by me, nudging me, looking at me, and hey i know at the moment he's my boyfriend but i feel stalked! how bout i rewind, about a year ago i developed a pretty big crush on him and was flirting with him pretty much every chance i got. then about 5 or 6 months ago he started dating my best friend. he never noticed that i liked him (therefore proving that guys are oblivious to everything) i was mad at her, not cuz she was dating him, but because she was dating him and i knew she didnt like him-she liked the way he liked her. they went along for about 3 months then she'd had enough. they broke up and he was misreable. i talked with him at jr. church and whenever he needed to talk (i had stopped liking him so he felt comfortable around me) and tthen out of the blue he started calling me every night and flirting with me whenever he had the chance. i knew i didnt like him as mcuh as i used to but i kept convincing myself that we were perfect for each other. then i found out that he was flirting with me and my other bestfriend. for a while then life was like a rollercoaster focused around danny. i hate him, hes such a jerk, or hes so amazing, i just wanna be with him. so it was like he flirted with me on the phone and my friend in public. he even told me he was jealous of me when one time she was bein silly and sittin on my lap. so i was conflicted. so then i got mad. i yelled at him asking him if he liked her than why was he flirting with me. and his answer? "I like messing with girls. its fun, iv been doing it forever" i told him to make a choice and stop flirting with me in the meantime. well, he didnt. but he ended up choosing me. he asked me out and i said yes. lived happily for a little bit. then reality hit me. i saw past the flirting and saw a desperate little boy who just needed someone to like. so today i was going break up with him and me and my friends were up on stage doing the motions for the last song in jr. church and his mom came and called his brother and him and his brother like bolted out of the room! so then (since he dosnt have a phone) he was texting me from another friends phone. he is so annoying! i know i sound evil right now but he think that every little thing i say to him becomes "our special joke" alright now im done. you can comment about me being a monster for not loving my boyfriend.